Another unrespected moment, I guess?

Hello, November :)

I just saw the calendar.This is the second day of November, and yeah everybody know that this year had flies soooooo-fucking-fast. And i'm like......... "Bro, keep calm......just CALM THE FUCK DOWN dude *talking to a calendar*" #weirdo
Another fact is I just got a new year calendar from a medical store at one of the shopping mall in Surabaya.



Enough with the preface and stuffs, back to the topic and this is going to be the saddest edition ever......

Lately, I often cry because some little thing I don't even understand why it always happened to me. I bold the sentence because.... yes, it is always happened to me. I know I know...... you guys must be wondering what is actually happened to me, right?

BULLIED. UNRESPECTED.

Seems like, noone cares about "HOW TO RESPECT PEOPLE"
Yesterday (1/11), after I did my group interview with Pak Syamsu at Ismuba for about......only 30 mins because Nalmy had to see Ghopy, then I went out, and sat around my friends (i guess.....) and talk about shit and stuffs, whatever I almost forgot what I talked about. And then Pak Syamsu went out too from Ismuba
He grabbed out a ball made of stereofoam, cover with some black plakban(?)

Pak Syam: Ini lho bola... *shows the ball out from his jacket pocket*
Me: Wah liat dooong paaaak *grabbed the ball*

And then...... this is the fucking part:

Ohne: Sini siiiniii abiiiii >< *grabbed, and throw it at me, hard*
Me: JANGKRIK..... *mbatin: cok raimu asu dipikir poo nek nguncal*
Afida: *grabbed the ball* *throw again at me*
Me: JANGKRIK
Pak Syam: Heh sudah sudah, minta maaf sana,.... *when I looked at him*
Afida: Maaf ya isma... *she shook my hand*
Me: Iya iya *With fucking dont care face*

AFTER THAT??
I lost my respect to them, at first I always joined their groups when I want to dhuhur pray at the musholla. But now? THEIR FUCKING ATTITUDE THAT I DON'T LIKE MAKE ME FEEL.......wtf, I regret, I should make friends whose attitude is good and not wild like them -_- #sorrynotsorry

Yaudin lah,
LIFE ISN'T ALWAYS PERFECT. :)

Alhamdulilah ^^

Yey!!! Today (Fri/June 21st) was the day I pick my final report.
Actually, I'm a bit worried about this final result because I'm not good at some subjects. Well, I pray a lot-lot-lot since then..

The day's finally come and..............ALHAMDULILAH ^^
I succesfully keep the first grade in my class. And some of my buddy got second and third rank, keep the rank up!!! But so sorry, I won't give my rank for you guys hehe, not that easy~ :p
Because of that, I got a free voucher from Hanamasa (yeeeeyyy!!! hehehe). But only for the 1st,2nd,3rd rank student. Its a compliment for the student who has achieved all of the subjects very well.

From now on, I won't give up so easy because this isn't the end of my school. I should more study,study, and studyyyy and keep working hard to make my parent proud! Amiiin

Reckless

I hate how I made my mom cry, because of my fault.

I really hate it, really. In other way, i'd like to be free from my family for a while. Just because of that, doesn't mean i don't care with people around me. But.....*sigh* 

I hate how my parent and some people treat me differently, fuck that theory.

I just love seeing people comfort around me, accept me for who I am. Even you mom, i'm not one of your employee at your office anymore.

Unrespected

Akhir-akhir ini, dunia sedang tidak mihak sama aku.. yep, I get it.
Rasanya aku sudah berkorban banyak buat teman-temanku dikelas....
Mulai dari ngerjain tugas, bantuin bikin pr, bikin inilah itulah, segala macem yang termasuk hitungan.
Aku nggak minta imbalan ato apapun kok dari hal-hal tersebut, tapi yang aku minta cuma satu aja.

Rasa terimakasih dan rasa hormat.

Kamu pernah ta ngerasain gimana rasanya abis bantuin orang terus reply dari orang itu netral-netral aja? I mean, reply itu respect dan terimakasih atas bantuanmu? Nggak? Apa kamu enggak pernah ngerasain gimana rasanya jadi aku? Yang selalu ngalah buat hal-hal kayak gini? Sudah abis kesabaranku, udah diubun-ubun rasanya mau pecah otakku, mau ngomong kotor takut dosa tapi terlanjur akhirnya ngomong kotor. Tuh kan?

WELL, IT'S A LIFE, DUDE. I realized it.
Buat apalah aku pusing-pusing mikirin hal begituan. Ya, kalo kalian bantuin aku sih aku mau aja bilang terimakasih tapi kayaknya aku harus mikir dua kali. Aku nggak balas dendam sih, semoga aja hal kayak gini nggak memusingkanku lagi.

But baby, it's cold outside.

It seems like rain won't stop falling down from the sky, only for today.

Really cooolldddd, I'm freezing down here (yep, because I'm still switch the air conditioner on) and still doing some schools task.

And today at school, I just met my boyfriend for a while, found him so cute. I can't describe how he is, too much words I couldn't tell ><

Overthink = kills.

Hmm, it's about 6.40 pm, and i'm still doing my fucking homework.
Yep, just like my entry that entitled "Overthink = Kills"
Well it really does kill......your mindset....actually...my mindset

I've been thinking this thing for 2 weeks...everytime I'm quiet in my own mind.
"Did my behaviour changed because of them?" "Does he still loves me eventhough I'm not the first person whom he dates?" "Do my face looks pretty? I'm not good enough for him" "Do I still have a 'real friends'?"

It seems like..... I can never be good enough for you (G), or for everybody around me, it makes me feels bad........really bad.
I'm trying my best to be my friend's proud, his proud, my class proud, or my parents' pround, but looks like I can't even find my own pride. So I've been asking to myself, "You think the World dislike you? Well, Think again! Think again!"

I started to think again, about those silly question to myself.........and, well if the world dislike me. Think again, I still have GOD, Allah swt. I'm sure that I believe in Allah, in every way of praying, even when i said some bad words, do bad things, I realized that I was wrong....then I'm praying, to be reminded for not doing those thing again but people are people. People do mistakes, and God Never Wrong.

So.....cheer up, Isma.. ^^
Like one of my deskmate said, "Its not a bad life, it's just a bad day. Chillax!"

Re-Started.

First day of April, 2013.
10.27 PM = I started to re-open my old bloggie ><

Suddenly, I really miss this blog. I miss how I write every little things like Greyson / Cody that I did last year when I was in 9th grade. I miss how I used to be, a Western Fangirl :')
But now, I realize I have to be an open-minded person.

Past time, I really not interested to any Korean Song, but because of my friend's influence about Super Junior I started to downloaded A-CHA, their first single on the fifth repackaged album. I listen almost everyday, every time when I used my headphone.

Soooooooo, that was the original story why I became a Korean Fangirl. Such a pity girl, am I? :')
Maybe, on the next entry I will post some news about SJ or other groups!
That's alllllll from me~


GOODNIGHT ^^